“When your friend on stage nods to you, they’re saying: I see you. And I love you.” (2–3 minute read) Hey Reader, Sorry this newsletter is coming a few hours late. I’m not a bot and I don’t have AI writing this thing for me. We had a family health emergency this morning. Thankfully, everyone is fine, but I was on dad and uncle duty, so friendship had to wait a few hours. This weekend, I went to see my friend’s band play. We’ve all been invited to this kind of thing before: A friend’s band,...
10 days ago • 3 min read
"Your oldest friends are carrying around versions of you your kids will never meet." (2 minute read) Hey Reader,I’m back East for August, and this week I caught up with three of my oldest friends. Because I have a one-year-old and a three-year-old, I basically told them they had to come to me. At this stage of life, "meeting up" means someone is willing to step over toy trucks, drink a beer with one hand and catch a toddler with the other. Watching them with my boys, I realized I'd been...
17 days ago • 2 min read
"Don't Let Them Inside." Hey Reader, I have a controversial hosting opinion. If you're throwing one last summer BBQ this month... Don't let anyone inside. I know. I usually tell people to throw the doors open and make everyone feel at home. This is the exception. Every party I've ever thrown follows the same script. Someone goes in for ice. Someone uses the bathroom. A few people wander inside. Before long, half the party has disappeared. So this year I tried something. I put a sign on the...
24 days ago • 2 min read
"Birthdays are one of the few invitations adults almost always say yes to. Don't waste yours."(2 min read)Hey Reader I turn 47 tomorrow, and I feel incredibly lucky. I have my health (knock on wood), an amazing wife, two beautiful boys, and a community of friends that has become one of the greatest sources of joy in my life. That community was on full display at our house this weekend. At one point my wife looked around the backyard and said, "You invited some randos." She wasn't wrong. I...
about 1 month ago • 2 min read
"Every Person Needs One Friend Who Makes Them Smarter" (2–3 minute read) Hey Reader, I'm working on a top-secret TV project that I can't wait to tell you about...yet! Last week I got completely stuck on one scene. I'd been staring at the same whiteboard for days, moving ideas around, convinced the answer had to be there somewhere. Finally, I called one of my writer friends over. He looked at it for maybe thirty seconds. "Why doesn't he just...?" That was it. The whole scene unlocked. Because...
about 1 month ago • 2 min read
"Buy from your friends. Get free stuff from strangers." The people you care about shouldn't have to become famous before you become their customer. Hey Reader, I saw that quote this week that stopped me in my tracks.It's one of those quotes that makes you realize your spending habits and your values don't always align. We happily use the discount code from an influencer we've never met. We'll spend an hour saving $12 from someone we've never met...while forgetting to spend $40 with someone...
about 2 months ago • 2 min read
“I wrote 52 newsletters about friendship. Here’s everything I know in one email.” (2-3 minute read) Hey Reader, 52 issues. One full year. The first one went out to 543 people from my kitchen at 11pm. Now there’s over 25,000 of you. I went back through every issue and pulled the 13 ideas that seemed to change the way people thought about friendship. Before we get into it, if this newsletter has meant something to you this year, forward it to one friend and ask them to subscribe. That’s it. One...
about 2 months ago • 4 min read
“Old houses need maintenance. Old marriages need maintenance. Old friendships do too.” (2-3 minute read) Hey Reader, Every time someone tells me they have a "low-maintenance friendship," I get a little suspicious. Because most of the time, they're not describing a low-maintenance friendship. They're describing a no-maintenance friendship. In our Audible original, The Buddy System, I joke that men love bragging about this. "We can go ten years without talking and pick right back up where we...
about 2 months ago • 2 min read
"Looking back, my dad wasn't ordering coffee. He was buying time." (2-3 minute read) Hey Reader, Every Father's Day is bittersweet when your own father is gone. But having kids of my own has made me realize something I completely missed when he was alive. My dad always wanted to extend the evening. After dinner he'd suggest a walk, a cappuccino, or some errand that absolutely could have waited until tomorrow. At the time, I never thought much about it. My siblings and I were in our twenties....
2 months ago • 2 min read