“Old houses need maintenance. Old marriages need maintenance. Old friendships do too.”

(2-3 minute read)

Hey Reader,

Every time someone tells me they have a "low-maintenance friendship," I get a little suspicious.

Because most of the time, they're not describing a low-maintenance friendship.

They're describing a no-maintenance friendship.

In our Audible original, The Buddy System, I joke that men love bragging about this.

"We can go ten years without talking and pick right back up where we left off."

Twenty. Thirty. Do I hear forty? It's like an auction for bad ideas.

First of all...that's nonsense.

You can pick up the way you joke with each other.

You cannot pick up thirty years of birthdays, kids, jobs, losses, divorces, promotions, parents getting older, and everything else that happened while you weren't there.

That's not picking up where you left off.

That's picking up the conversation.

More importantly...

Why would you want to wait thirty years?

Next thing you know you'll be standing at his funeral saying,

"Crazy...we we're just about to pick it right back up."

A quick word from our new sponsor: Magai. I personally have a Chat, a Claude subscription, I think maybe even paying for others I can't even remember signing up for! I do know I'm overspending...so that's where Magai comes in!

👥 THE FRIEND: OLD FRIENDS

One of the greatest gifts in life is having old friends.

The people who knew you before your career, before your spouse, before your kids, before you became whoever you are today.

They remember versions of you that nobody else does. That's exactly why they're worth maintaining.

We treat old friendships like they're indestructible simply because they've survived a long time.

But longevity isn't maintenance.

Old houses need maintenance. Old marriages need maintenance. Old friendships do too.

Their age isn't what makes them valuable. It's the shared history.

And shared history only keeps growing if you keep showing up.

🛠️ THE FIX: Audit Your “Low-Maintenance” Label

Pick one friend you've been calling "low maintenance."

Now ask yourself one question:

If we stopped reaching out completely...would this friendship actually continue?

If the answer is "probably not," it isn't low maintenance.

It's running on fumes.

Send one text today.

"Let's not become one of those friendships that aren't making any new memories. Dinner this week?"

Great friendships don't survive because they need less maintenance.

They survive because someone keeps doing it.

📖 THE RECO: “London Falling” by Brit Bennett

In my mind, summer mean books! I used to read voraciously year round and was known for, but now most of my reading starts with "Brown Bear, Brown Bear" or "Chicka Chicka Boom Boom" so I relish a little extra time in summer to get back into one of my favorite hobbies.
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I've been reading London Falling this week and can't put it down. One of those murder mystery where you tell yourself "one more chapter" and suddenly it's midnight. If you're looking for a great summer read, this one's worth throwing in your beach bag. Credit to my wife and her book club for this one.

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So this week, grab an old friend and make a new memory.

Until next Monday,

Matt Ritter

The Friendship Guy

“Friendship is the original life hack.”

🎧 Listen to The Buddy System on Audible

⏩ Forward this to the friend you’ve been calling “low-maintenance.” They might need to hear from you. They can join the Friendship Challenge here.