"Birthdays are one of the few invitations adults almost always say yes to. Don't waste yours."
​(2 min read)​
​
​Hey Reader

I turn 47 tomorrow, and I feel incredibly lucky.

I have my health (knock on wood), an amazing wife, two beautiful boys, and a community of friends that has become one of the greatest sources of joy in my life.

That community was on full display at our house this weekend.

At one point my wife looked around the backyard and said, "You invited some randos."

She wasn't wrong. I always do.

There were old friends, new friends, neighbors, parents from school, people from work, and a handful of people who probably would've looked at the guest list and wondered how they ended up there.

It was perfect.

​A friend, Royston Langdon from Spacehog, was kind enough to play an acoustic set later that night. It was unforgettable.
​
What I'll always remember is looking around before the music even started and seeing people from completely different parts of my life talking like they'd known each other forever.
​
That turned out to be the best birthday gift I got all weekend.

🤝 The Friend

The older I get, the more I think we've misunderstood birthdays.

We treat them like a reward...a day when the world is supposed to celebrate us.
​
Birthdays are one of the only invitations adults almost never question. That's incredibly valuable. Once a year, people are unusually willing to say yes.

That's social capital. Spend it.

A quick word from my sponsor Superhuman AI. It's a great newsletter, that's also about a topic we're all trying to get better at!

🛠️ The Fix

This year, instead of wondering who remembered your birthday, think about what your birthday could make possible.
​​
Stop treating it like a referendum on your friendships and start treating it like the investment in them.

Invite the newer friend you've been meaning to know better. Tell the neighbor to come by. Ask the coworker you've always liked if they want to bring their spouse.

Let your worlds collide a little more than feels natural. You may wake up the next morning realizing the best thing about your birthday wasn't that people celebrated you. It was that they left with new people in their lives.

🎸 The Reco

Go see the band that soundtracked a chapter of your life.

Last weekend I saw Spin Doctors, Gin Blossoms, and Blues Traveler.
​
I'd forgotten what it feels like to know every word before the first chorus even hits..

The crowd was having collective euphoria. Adults don't get many moments like that anymore.
​
We spend so much of our time chasing what's next. I'd forgotten how good it feels to revisit something that already made you happy once.
​

P.S. They all still rip!

Until next Monday,

Matt Ritter​
​The Friendship Guy

“Friendship is the original life hack.”

🎧 Listen to The Buddy System on Audible​

⏩ Forward this to someone you wanna bounce an idea off of. They can join the Friendship Challenge here.