"Don't Let Them Inside."

Hey Reader,

I have a controversial hosting opinion.

If you're throwing one last summer BBQ this month...

Don't let anyone inside.

I know. I usually tell people to throw the doors open and make everyone feel at home.

This is the exception.

Every party I've ever thrown follows the same script. Someone goes in for ice. Someone uses the bathroom. A few people wander inside. Before long, half the party has disappeared.

So this year I tried something.

I put a sign on the front door:

BABY SLEEPING. PLEASE STAY OUTSIDE.

There was even a picture of a sleeping baby.

The sign lost a little credibility because both of my boys were tearing around the yard at full volume.

Still, it worked. Only two friends attempted to breach our walls. (You know who you are.)

For the first time ever, almost nobody came inside.

Turns out, that made for a better party.

👥 The Friend

The biggest challenge at any party isn't starting conversations. It's leaving them.

You finally get all your favorite people in one place...and spend forty-five minutes talking to one person.

Because leaving feels rude.

Backyard BBQs quietly solve this.

Nobody questions why you wandered over to check on the burgers.

Or grabbed another drink. Or stopped to see what all the laughing was about. Or sat on the edge of a pool chair for five minutes.

You're not walking away from someone. You're walking toward something.

🛠️ The Fix

Before your next BBQ, ask yourself one question:

"What are the destinations at my party?"

The grill is one. The cooler is one. The pool is one.

But if those are your only three, you might need another reason for people to get up.

Our brick oven pizza turned out to be the unexpected MVP at my last shindig.

Every few minutes another pizza came out.

People wandered over to see what was next, grabbed a slice, ran into someone they hadn't talked to yet, then wandered off again.

A dessert station. Cornhole. A fire pit after sunset.

A Polaroid camera with a clothesline for photos.

Anything people can't help but wander over to.

The goal isn't to entertain people every minute.

It's to give the party somewhere to go.

Every destination creates another opportunity to find your next conversation.

📚 The Reco

I crashed the last hour of my wife's book club this week.

Everyone was laughing. Wine was flowing. Obviously.

What surprised me was that, two hours in, they were still talking about the book.

At the head of the table was a "book club facilitator."

I'd never seen one before in the wild. But apparently, the facilitator space is booming.

I had been ribbing her about it lately, but I saw first hand how it made their night noticeably better. So I admit, I was wrong. Not the first time or the last ;)

If you have a recurring book club, dinner club, dads group, or anything where conversation is the point, it's an idea worth stealing.

---

Until next Monday,

Matt Ritter​
​The Friendship Guy

“Friendship is the original life hack.”

🎧 Listen to The Buddy System on Audible​

⏩ Forward this to someone you wanna bounce an idea off of. They can join the Friendship Challenge here.