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The Friendship Habit

Three years ago, he was a stranger

Published about 2 months ago • 2 min read

“Some of the people you’ll grow old with are people you haven’t met yet.”​
​(2-minute read)

Hey Reader,

When you think about your oldest friends, you might picture them arriving with the rest of your childhood, as though they came preinstalled.

But every old friend was once a new person you could have walked past.

🤝 The Friend

Three years ago, I bumped into another dad in Larchmont. I liked him, so I invited him to a party at my house that night.

He showed up.

Now our kids are growing up together. We’ve built a dad social club and somehow shot an entire TV series. That’s a lot to come out of “How old is yours?”

Someone you meet this week could be in your kitchen three years from now, helping themselves to a drink while your kids tear through the house.

And to think that future could have been filed under “We should hang out sometime.”

I invited him over that night. He said yes. Neither of us knew what would come of it, but we both gave the friendship a chance to begin while we were excited about it. Shout out to Dan for showing up at that party three years ago.

That’s one of the ideas in my TEDx talk, “Friendship Is the Original Life Hack,” which comes out today. It was selected as a TEDx Editor’s Pick: an honor given to just one in 500 talks. I’m really proud of it.

I couldn’t have done it without you. Your stories, your replies, and the conversations we’ve had through this newsletter have helped me figure out what this whole friendship thing is really about. Thank you for helping me get to that stage.

[Watch the TEDx talk here] and please share, comment, like. Thanks!

🛠️ The Fix

The mistake we make with new friends is assuming that an invitation is too much, too soon. We meet someone we genuinely like, then wait weeks before asking them to do anything. As if friendship requires a cooling-off period.

When you click with someone, treat it with urgency.

Invite them to something happening soon...even tonight. And if you’re the one who gets invited, go. That early excitement is worth acting on while you both still feel it.

💡 The Reco

Share the talk with a new friend and tell them it made you think of them. Maybe in three years you’ll both laugh about how little you knew each other when you sent it. 😉
​

I want to re-iterate one of my biggest lessons from years of doing this. It's never too late. No matter how old you are or if you have zero active friendships currently. Alot can change in a hurry if you take action. My favorite part of the week is when I get your replies about the things you've done and people you've reach out to, so please keep them coming.

See you next week,

​
Matt

The Friendship Guy

“Friendship is the original life hack.”

🎧 Listen to The Buddy System on Audible​

The Friendship Habit

Matt Ritter - The Friendship Guy

Helping 20,000+ busy adults build better friendships — one small move at a time. From Matt Ritter, co-host of Man of the Year, the #1 podcast on adult friendship and and author of The Buddy System on Audible. Start the seven day challenge today— and make connection a habit.

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