"The friends who know your Tuesday matter more than the ones who know your Saturday."​
​(2–3 minute read)

Hey Reader,
​
Thanks for being here. The DMs and replies have been great lately—keep them coming. And if you’re not on my Instagram yet, I’m posting new friendship ideas there daily.

Had a moment this week I can’t stop thinking about.

It was like… peak Tuesday.
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Just a full day of errands, emails I was avoiding, and my kids dropping blueberries everywhere.

Phone rings.

It’s my buddy Jeremy.

No reason. No “let’s catch up.” Just, “What are you doing?”

You ever not pick up because you feel like you have absolutely nothing to say? I was in that mode.

But I picked up.

We talked for maybe 12 minutes. About nothing. And it was easily the best part of my day.

That’s when it hit me:

The friends I feel closest to aren’t the ones I see at the big stuff.

They’re the ones who catch me in the middle of a random Tuesday.

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👥 THE FRIEND: The Version of You That Actually Builds the Friendship

Here’s something I don’t think we say out loud:

Most friendships are built on your best version of yourself.

You’re out. You’re on. You’ve got a story.
You’re a little funnier, a little sharper, a little more “on purpose.”

And that’s fine. That’s part of it.

But that version of you isn’t where the closeness comes from.

The closeness comes from the version of you that has… nothing.

Nothing to report. Nothing to show.
Just, “Yeah, I’m kind of in the middle of my day.”

That’s the version people don’t get access to very often.

And when someone does get access to it consistently, that’s when the friendship actually deepens.

A lot of people have friends for their life highlights.

Not that many have friends for their life in between.

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🛠️ THE FIX: The Tuesday Window

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Pick one 30–60 minute window this week where you’re doing something boring anyway: driving, errands, cleanup.

During that window, you’re allowed to call one person.

No scheduling. No backup plan. No “let me text first.”

If they pick up, great. If they don’t, that’s the rep.

The point isn’t the conversation. It's building the habit of letting people into your real day...not just the parts you plan.

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📺 THE RECO: Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee

I’ve been throwing this on again lately. Forgot how great it is.

It’s such a simple show it almost feels like nothing is happening (Seinfeld pun intended).

Jerry drives. They get coffee. They talk.

But if you watch closely, the good episodes all have the same thing:

Comfort.

And yes, some of it is performative. Cameras are on, they’re comics.
But the good parts slip through anyway.

Just two people who clearly have reps together, talking the way people who enjoy each other talk.

Put one on this week. You’ll feel it immediately.

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The goal this week: Let someone see your Tuesday.

That’s where the real version of you lives anyway.

—

Matt Ritter
The Friendship Guy

“Friendship is the original life hack.”

🎧 Listen to The Buddy System on Audible​

⏩ Forward this to someone who’d appreciate a random Tuesday text from you. They can join the Friendship Challenge here.