The smallest proof of friendship is six words: 'Saw this and thought of you.'

Published about 1 month ago • 1 min read

“A great friend develops a mental rolodex of the people they care about.’”

(2 minutes read)

Hey Reader,

Last week I was wandering through a bookstore and saw a book about building pizza ovens.

Immediately thought of my friend who's been trying to build one in his backyard for the better part of a year. He's kind of made his personality, in a funny way.

I snapped a photo and sent it to him.

If you've done my 7-Day Friendship Challenge, this probably sounds familiar. Day 1 is literally a "thought of you" text.

And every time we run the challenge, people tell me the same thing:

It works.

But lately I've been thinking about the next level.

👥 THE FRIEND

Steve Martin and Martin Short have been friends for decades.

One thing I love about their friendship is that they seem to have built an entire language out of random observations. Weird photos. Strange headlines. Obscure jokes.

They're constantly finding things that remind them of the other person.

That's the real skill.

Not texting. Not scheduling. Not even remembering birthdays.

Noticing.

A great friend develops a mental rolodex of the people they care about.

You see a concert announcement and think of Mike.

A job opening and think of Sarah.

A restaurant and think of the couple who'd love it.

You move through the world collecting things for other people.

🛠️ THE FIX

This week, don't focus on sending the text.

Focus on catching the moment right before it.

How many times does a friend cross your mind during the day?

Most of us think about our friends far more often than we realize.

We just let the moment pass. Start noticing the notice.

The text will take care of itself.

🎬 THE RECO

Only Murders in the Building.

If you get to know me you'll find sometimes I'm comically late to things, just discovered this.

Yes, partly because Steve Martin and Martin Short are fantastic.

But mostly because underneath the murder mystery, it's a show about people paying attention to each other.

And that's usually what healthy friendship looks like.

Until next Monday,

Matt Ritter

The Friendship Guy

🎧 Listen to The Buddy System on Audible

⏩ Forward this to the friend who’s always sending YOU the “thought of you” texts. They deserve one back. They can join the Friendship Challenge here.

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