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The Friendship Habit

Helping 20,000+ busy adults build better friendships — one small move at a time. From Matt Ritter, co-host of Man of the Year, the #1 podcast on adult friendship and and author of The Buddy System on Audible. Start the seven day challenge today— and make connection a habit.

Featured Post

The February Fallacy

“The moment things really slip is when we decide it’s ‘too late’ to re-engage.” Hey Reader, February is a bridge month, you can either use it as spring board for the year or an excuse as to why it's too late. It’s the month people quietly give up on things. Just a subtle shift into, “Eh, maybe nest year.” But I actually don’t think February is when things fall apart. I think it’s when people decide they already have. 👥 THE FRIEND After the American Revolution, John Adams and Benjamin Franklin...

"Friendship fails the same way money does: small, untracked expenses." (2–3 minute read) Hey Reader,Thanks for catching this before the weekend! 👥 THE FRIEND Warren Buffett has a simple thought experiment. Imagine you’re given a punch card with 20 total decisions for your entire career.Every yes costs a punch. Once they’re gone, that’s it. It’s not about being afraid to decide. It’s about deciding on purpose. Buffett doesn’t treat attention as unlimited. He treats it as scarce. Friendship...

"When something starts working, our instinct isn’t to protect it. It’s to optimize it." Hey Reader, If January is going pretty well so far, that’s great. This is usually the moment people accidentally mess things up. Not by quitting. By getting ambitious too fast. We mistake early momentum for permission to add pressure. 👥 THE FRIEND Early in Steph Curry’s career, the Warriors were confident they had a franchise player. They were also honest about the risk. Curry’s ankles were fragile. He...

"The hardest part of any habit isn’t starting. It’s deciding it still counts when you half-ass it.”Hey Reader, By now, January has stopped feeling ceremonial. The texts have slowed. The routines feel less impressive. The thing you said you’d do this year is already negotiating with you. That’s not failure. That’s the moment that actually matters. 👥 THE FRIEND Stephen King has followed the same rule for decades: When he’s writing, he writes every single day. He doesn't wait for inspiration or...

“If no one would notice you quitting, you probably will.”Hey Reader, The ball is dropping at various hours around the world for you, and a lot of people are about to start the clock on failed New Year’s resolutions. I don’t hate resolutions. I’ve made plenty.Some worked. Most didn’t. (Don't ask about my 22 year nail-biting one) What I’ve learned is that they rarely fail because we don’t care enough.They fail because we try to change our lives in private. 👥 THE FRIEND Every offseason, Jerry...

"Joy doesn’t need a theory. It needs repetition." That’s something I’ve learned by paying close attention to what actually brings joy into my life.(2-minute read) Hey Reader, I truly hope this season your home feels as joyful as mine does.Hanukkah just wrapped. Christmas is in full swing. Our house has been in holiday mode for weeks. Nine family members staying with us. Kids ranging from 8 months to 17 years old. Which means the chances of silence are basically zero. We did a White Elephant....

Most of the weight we carry isn’t from what’s wrong, it’s from what’s unfinished.(2-minute read) Hey , Anyone else remember the day they learned that penultimate does not mean “ultimate”? I’d like to say it happened in my teens. It very well could have been my late twenties. It means second to last. Which matters, because this week isn’t the end of the year. It’s the one right before things harden into: “That’s just how 2025 went.” Every Tuesday night, I make last-minute edits to this...

Sweatpants are the milestone nobody talks about.(3-minute read) Hey Reader, Welcome to The Friendship Habit, where we build better friendships one honest moment at a time. 👥 THE FRIEND Every real friendship has a moment nobody names. It’s the day someone shows up in sweatpants and you know they’re not going anywhere for a while. That’s The Sweatpants Threshold. The moment the performance ends. You don’t get the truth from people when they’re trying. You get it when they’re tired. I’ve worn...

BEING REMEMBERED IS A FORM OF LOVE. (3-minute read) Hey Reader, Welcome to The Friendship Habit — where we build stronger friendships one small move at a time.With one month left in 2025. Let's not wait till January to show up better. 👥 THE FRIEND The quiet power of being “on the fridge” Nobody teaches you how to be remembered. We just assume that if we matter, people will know. But growing up, my parents gave me a master class without realizing it. Our fridge was completely covered: photos,...

"Rituals are just made-up holidays that we repeat on purpose." Hey Reader, Before I get into the newsletter, just a reminder: Last chance to enter The $1500 Wine🍷 Weekend Getaway! Just screenshot your download of my Audible Original The Buddy System and reply here with the pic! I will announce the winner in next week's newsletter. So one of you is getting a very fun surprise next week!Around this time of year, most newsletters start sounding the same. “Be grateful.” “Spend time with loved...