"Halloween is the one night a year when nobody needs an invitation."

(Two-minute read)

Hey Reader,

Last Halloween, I wrote about something I called The Porch Light Principle.

For one night a year, we knock on strangers' doors, walk into neighbors' houses, and take candy from people we've never met. Basically everything we spend the rest of the year teaching our kids not to do.

And somehow, it works beautifully.

My point was that we should make ourselves this available more often. Leave the light on. Let people know they can stop by without a formal invitation or a six-person text chain.

Well, a year later, one of my readers actually built an app inspired by the idea. (He's building an app that links users in the same apartment buildings who let people know when they are free - will keep you all posted!)

How cool is that?

One of my favorite things about writing this newsletter is seeing people take these ideas and run with them. Especially when they do something more ambitious than I ever imagined.

And after another Halloween watching my neighborhood come alive, I'm more convinced than ever that we're making friendship way too complicated.

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👥 The Friend: The Open Door

Think about how absurd Halloween is.

You can show up at someone's house completely unannounced, wearing a hockey mask, and they'll hand you a Reese's.

Try that on November 12th and someone's calling the cops.

But why does the invitation have to disappear when the decorations come down?

Somewhere along the way, we decided that seeing our friends requires an occasion. A dinner reservation. A calendar invite. Three weeks of scheduling.

Even the simple act of stopping by has become weird.

And I think we've lost something important because of it.

Some of the best moments in friendship happen when nobody made plans.

The neighbor who wanders over while you're grilling. The friend who stops by for ten minutes and stays for two hours. The guy who knows he can come over and watch the game without asking.

That's what I want more of.

Friends who know the porch light is always on.

🛠️ The Fix: Extend Halloween This Week

Halloween's over. The candy's half gone. Your kids are already negotiating how many pieces they can eat before breakfast.

But there's no reason the open-door policy has to end.

Pick one friend or neighbor this week and tell them they're welcome to stop by sometime.

No hosting. No cleaning the house. No charcuterie board that costs $85.

Just a simple, "We're usually around Sunday afternoon. Come hang."

And mean it.

The goal is to make seeing each other feel normal again.

🎁 The Reco: Aaron Karo's New Book About Elf

My podcast partner Aaron Karo has a new book about the making of Elf, one of my all-time favorite Christmas movies.

Aaron takes readers behind the scenes of how Will Ferrell, Jon Favreau, and the rest of the gang created a movie that's become a holiday tradition for millions of families. Believe it or not, it wasn't easy.

I'm incredibly proud of him. If you love Elf, it's a perfect way to kick off the holiday season. Order it here!

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Last year, I asked you to leave your porch light on.

This year, somebody built an app to help people do it.

I love that we're turning my little ideas into actual habits.

Until next time,

Matt Ritter​
​The Friendship Guy

P.S. Have you turned any of my newsletters into action? Hit reply and tell me what happened. I read every response.

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If this made you think of someone, forward it to them. And if a friend forwarded this to you, subscribe to The Friendship Habit here.

“Friendship is the original life hack.”

🎧 Listen to The Buddy System on Audible​