“Adulthood takes away rituals. Fandom gives them back.”
Hey Reader,
Have you ever walked into a bar, seen a group of friends having a great time, and thought about asking if you could join them? Probably not...it would feel socially awkward.
But if they’re all wearing a team’s logo, and you’re wearing the same logo, not only is it acceptable, it’s welcome. That’s the beauty of sports fandom. It’s inviting.
I put this to the test last week in London, when I wandered into an Eagles bar. Now, I’m a Giants fan. Back home, that’s enemy territory. But I made up a rule on the spot: internationally, you can root for whoever you want.
So I leaned in. I chanted. I high-fived strangers with weird Philly accents. I even drank a “Yunkling” — apparently Yuengling can’t legally make it across the pond, so the bar serves a knockoff. I maybe even used the term “Jawn” incorrectly.
And here’s the strangest part: there aren’t one, not two, but five Philly bars in London. Five! How does that even make sense?
For one night, I was an Eagles fan. Absurd, yes — me in green, yelling “Go Birds.” But it worked. I wasn’t an outsider. I was in. [To my Giants fan friends, I'm sorry I let you down - but in my defense I spent three years at Penn]
🛠️ The Fix
That’s the real power of fandom: it lowers the cost of entry to friendship. You don’t need the perfect words. You just need to show up in the jersey.
This fall, try borrowing a fandom. You don’t have to become a die-hard, you just have to step into someone else’s ritual.
It does two things:
- It shows you care enough to step into a friend’s excitement.
- It reminds you that when you find your own thing — whether it’s football, Housewives, or Swift — the friendships come pre-baked.
And this isn’t just about sports. Fandom comes in many forms: the ritual of Football Sundays, the sequins and sing-alongs of the Eras Tour film, Housewives premiere nights, Survivor watch parties, or even the slow-burn rituals of prestige TV like Severance and Slow Horses. The vehicle doesn’t matter. What matters is the built-in rhythm: a reason to gather every week.
I’ve seen it firsthand too. At the Knicks playoffs in Indy earlier this year, I talked about how fandom fuels friendship, especially when you're winning ;) You can watch that clip here.
Nobody cares if you borrow their fandom. In fact, they’ll hand you the jersey. The fandom is just the costume. The friendships are the point.
And here’s the bigger truth: adulthood quietly strips away most of the built-in rituals that made friendship easy. Fandom gives them back.
👥 The Friend
Nick Offerman of Parks and Rec fame didn’t meet the musician Jeff Tweedy as a colleague. He started out as a Wilco superfan.
But what began as admiration turned into a real friendship. Offerman has called Tweedy one of his favorite humans, and their bond has spilled into both creative and personal life. Tweedy asked Offerman to narrate his memoir, and they even recorded original, woodworking-themed songs for Offerman’s audiobook Good Clean Fun.
Their friendship has gone beyond studios and stages too. The two, along with writer George Saunders, once hiked a glacier together, a trip that inspired Offerman’s book Where the Deer and the Antelope Play.
It’s proof that fandom can be more than entertainment. It can be the doorway to genuine connection, shared adventures, and even lifelong collaboration. The music was the entry point. The friendship was the payoff.
📖 The Reco
If you want the data behind all this, grab a copy of Fans Have More Friends. The book lays out how fans actually have stronger social lives, richer communities, and more meaningful relationships than non-fans.
It’s basically what I experienced in that Eagles bar, except backed by science instead of Yunkling. The authors prove what I felt in my bones that night: the chants, the logos, the rituals aren’t about stats or scores, they’re about belonging.
Big thanks to my friend Lauren, who now works for the Kansas City Chiefs, for pointing me to this one.
So consider this your permission slip to watch football, or the Real Housewives, or whatever fandom you want to lean into this fall. The data and yours truly agree: fans really do have more friends.
Poll
What fandom are you leaning into this fall?
Reply in the DMs if it's something else, I wanna know!
Every fandom comes pre-loaded with what most adults are missing: a calendar and a crew.
So this fall, whether it’s football, Swift, Housewives, or Wilco, remember: the fandom is just the costume. The friendships are the point.
See you next week.
— Matt Ritter
The Friendship Guy
