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Most of the weight we carry isn’t from what’s wrong, it’s from what’s unfinished.
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(2-minute read)

Hey ,

Anyone else remember the day they learned that penultimate does not mean “ultimate”?

I’d like to say it happened in my teens. It very well could have been my late twenties.

It means second to last.

Which matters, because this week isn’t the end of the year.

It’s the one right before things harden into: “That’s just how 2025 went.”

Every Tuesday night, I make last-minute edits to this newsletter. Usually after waking up in a mild panic. I still miss a typo or three, but I get my final thoughts in before I hit send and can’t edit anymore.

That’s what this week is: One last chance to edit before 2025 is printed.

You’ve probably seen people talking about “closing open loops” lately — unfinished thoughts or unresolved moments that quietly drain mental energy.

This week is for closing one of them.
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If you want more detail on some of these ideas, join me on IG, that’s where I think out loud a bit more.

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👥 THE FRIEND

What Aristotle Actually Meant

Aristotle made a simple distinction about friendship.

Goodwill can exist privately. Friendship, he argued, requires that goodwill be mutual and recognized.

In other words, feeling something isn’t the same as having it land. You both need to hear it and see it.

Most of the weight we carry isn’t from what’s wrong, it’s from what’s unfinished.

That gap, between what we feel and what we make known, is where things quietly drift.

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🛠️ THE FIX

Close One Friendship Loop

Not everything. Just one friendship-related loop.

That might mean:

• Saying the thing you’ve been avoiding because it feels awkward
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• Following through on a plan you let quietly fade
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• Sending the card (I pushed this last week, it's not too late!)
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• Or deciding, honestly, not to carry a stalled relationship forward

Just one clean decision.

You don’t go into a new year lighter by adding resolutions.

You go in lighter by putting things down.

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📎 THE RECO

The Table That’s Been Staring at Me

For weeks, there’s been a holiday gift-drive table at my kids’ school.

I walked past it every morning. And every morning, my brain said: remember to do that.

When I finally stopped and dropped things off, I realized that table had been an open loop too.

Doing the right thing was reason enough. But it also closed something small and noisy in my head.

It also forced a hard but necessary question:

How many Elmo toys does one child actually need?

(Answer: fewer than we own.)

The house got lighter. My head got quieter.

And most importantly, someone else got what they actually needed.

That’s a loop worth closing.

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Talk soon for our "ultimate" 2025 edition next week,
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​Matt Ritter​
The Friendship Guy

Forward this to one friend who might need to close a loop of their own. They can get 2026 off on the right foot with the Friendship Challenge here.​

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