“You don’t need more friends. You need more collisions.”

(2-3 minute read)

Hey Reader,

So this was fun. PopSugar ran a piece about my "doorbell friends" concept yesterday to their millions of followers.
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On to this week's topic:
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There used to be a way people met.

You’d run into someone. Literally.

At a party, at a bar, on the street, whatever. No plan. No buildup. No “what are we doing Saturday at 8:15.”

Just… oh, this is fun.

And then maybe you’d see them again. Or maybe you wouldn’t. But if you did, that’s when something actually started.

That whole category basically doesn’t exist anymore. I went to Whole Foods the other day and ran into a neighbor...but it was so out of context it took us a minute to place each other.

I’ve started to think most adult friendship doesn’t fail because people don’t care. It fails because there’s no second run-in.

You meet someone once, it’s good, and then your lives just… never cross again.

👥 THE FRIEND: THE ALMOST FRIEND GRAVEYARD

Everyone has a list of people who should be in their life.

The guy you clicked with at that dinner. The couple you met on vacation.
The dad from school pickup you actually liked.

All of them felt like “this could be something.”

None of them went anywhere.

Sometimes it's because you didn’t try hard enough.

But other times it's because you only saw them once.
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🛠️ THE FIX: Leave a Trail

Sometimes we're not ready to dive into :

“We should get dinner.”

For lots of budding friendships, that’s too much too soon.

So this week let's try something new, leave a trail.

And by that I mean, give them an easy way to bump into you again without making it a big thing.

“I’m usually at Larchmont Wine on Thursdays.”

“We do park pizza on Fridays if you’re ever around.”

“We’re always at this coffee shop after soccer.”
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"We do Costco on Sundays." Side note - Costco might be the most social place left in America.

That’s the move for this week. Or find out where they go, what's their trail.

Not a formal invitation. Just a breadcrumb.
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📖 THE RECO: “The Tipping Point” by Malcolm Gladwell

Revisit the chapter on “Connectors.”

The people who seem naturally social aren’t doing anything that complicated.

They just put themselves in more places where collisions happen—and bring people with them.

This week, don’t plan a hang. Just make it easier to run into someone again.

Until next Monday,

Matt Ritter

The Friendship Guy

“Friendship is the original life hack.”

🎧 Listen to The Buddy System on Audible

⏩ Forward this to someone you keep bumping into but haven’t properly befriended yet. They can join the Friendship Challenge here.