"Most people think loyalty means staying. It actually means choosing."

(2-3 minute read)

Hey Reader,

There are now over 25,000 of you here each week. Which is… kind of wild. When I started this, I thought maybe my mom and a few college friends would read it. (My mom still texts me about my typos, by the way. Every. Single. Week.)

This week’s idea crystalized in a conversation with my wife about whether loyalty is something you feel or something you do.

If you've been following me on IG, you know I've been diving deeper into some of these ideas - like this Friendship Maintenance Myth post.

👥 THE FRIEND

Larry David & Richard Lewis — 50 Years of Choosing Each Other

Larry David and Richard Lewis met as kids at summer camp.

They hated each other immediately.

Years later they ran into each other again as struggling comedians in New York. The moment they recognized each other, they started arguing again.

Which, strangely, is how the friendship began.

For the next five decades, until Richard passed, their relationship looked less like loyalty and more like constant annoyance.

They fought. They stopped talking for years. They drove each other insane.

And yet when Larry created Curb Your Enthusiasm, one of the first calls he made was to Richard.

Not because it was easy. Because it felt right.

That’s loyalty. Not staying perfectly in sync. Not never fighting.

Loyalty isn’t about who never leaves. It’s about who keeps choosing the friendship again. And again.

If AI conversations at work feel like everyone got the cheat codes except you…maybe it's time to catch up. Check out Superhuman AI's newsletter below:

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🛠️ THE FIX: The “Still Picking You” Text

This week, pick one friend.

The one you'd still choose if you had to rebuild your whole friend group from scratch.

Send them one simple message:

“Random thought: if I had to rebuild my friend group from zero, you’d definitely be first draft pick.”

That’s it. That’s your one rep this week.

📱 THE RECO

The Free “Partiful” App

If you ever try to organize something with friends, you know the group text spiral:

“Are we still doing Thursday?”
“Wait where is it?”
“Can we bring people?”

A friend recently introduced me to Partiful, and it’s become my go-to for hosting anything — dinner, birthday drinks, pickup basketball, whatever. It's kind of everywhere now, and for good reason...it works.

You make an event, send one link, and everyone can RSVP, comment, and see updates in one place.

It’s basically what Evite should have evolved into.

If you’re trying to be the friend who makes things happen, this app makes it way easier.

This week, don’t just stay loyal.

Choose someone.

And let them know.

Until next Monday,

Matt Ritter
The Friendship Guy

“Friendship is the original life hack.”

🎧 Listen to my Audible Original The Buddy System​

⏩ Forward this to a friend who’s earned the “I choose you” text. They can sign up for the Friendship Challenge here.